New Beginnings

Hello Everyone!!! I'm so glad that you're here.

Finally after a 2 year hiatus, battling chronic anxiety, and finding myself and getting to know who I am I can finally say that I am truly back.

I understand for those of you who have been with me these past few years why you may be skeptical, and heck, I really can't blame you. For years, I've been trying to figure out exactly who I am and what kind of content I want to create. I kept trying to fit myself into neatly defined boxes, wrestle the YouTube algorithm, and be what I thought I was supposed to be.

Now, I'm 30 years old (almost 31). I have a small happy family, a great job with friends that I love going to every night, and most importantly the all encompassing "I don't care" attitude that anyone who wants to be a creator desperately needs.

The "I don't care" attitude comes with a couple of caveats. It's not that I don't care about my work, or other people's opinions, or what's popular on YouTube. It's more along the lines of I don't care if it's not perfect, if my face looks funny, if I slur my words, If I'm not energetic. In all these years I've been trying to learn to love myself (as cliche' as that sounds) and just make content and not worry about views, subscribers, or any other metric that social media wants to throw my way.

Do I look at views? Of course I do. Do I look at subscribers? Of course I do (and thank you for subscribing by the way.) The difference is that I don't give those metrics any weight anymore. If you're a subscriber that's wonderful, but I'll tell you upfront I'm not making content for you. Don't take that the wrong way. I'm making content for myself. I'm making videos and posts that I personally want to make. The gist of what I'm trying to say is that I'm out of the rat race.

It's important to put all of these caveats out there because for a time they completely consumed who I was as a creator and caused me to make content that I hated. Now, I create with reckless abandon. A blog one day? Sure thing! How about a silly animation? Hell, why not? I can say without a doubt that I am the happiest I have ever been. It feels good to make something just for the pure joy of it.

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for being a part of this journey of self exploration with me. I can't guarantee it'll all be amazing, but I can guarantee that I'll enjoy doing it.

With Love,

Martin (MartyVader) Gerrald

Game On!